FREE STUFF: Tampon

I have one tampon that I’d like to give away because I’m done with menopause now and am never going to use it again. It’s a Tampax tampon with a cardboard applicator and it’s super-absorbent. If you can come pick up the tampon, I would be happy to give it to you. Thank you.

FREE STUFF: Karaoke music vids

I have a DVD with about 6 hours worth of music videos on it that are for karaoke songs, so they’re generic music videos mostly with people in slow motion or looking in the distance. I’m giving it away because I don’t think anyone would actually buy it. As a suggestion, I used it for background at parties and stuff, it’s a good alternative to porn.

RANTS AND RAVES: It's not Halloweek you little trick-or-treat shits

To the little shits who have been trick-or-treating in my neighborhood since Friday night, get a life you little cavity tooth fuckers, don’t think that you can go and turn this little fat kid holiday into some sort of escapade that lasts the entire week. It’s not happening, I don’t care if you try this shit a week before or a day before. The candy-givers determine when the holiday is, not the little shits who open their pillow cases and yell obscene things at my door when I don’t answer. And don’t think I’ll be fooled when you’re dressed up in different costumes come actual Halloween night you little spiderman shit and goblin shit and Joker shit. I know your little shit voices.

Response from Becky & Dan:
You should turn off your porch light.You don't sound like someone who likes children.

PERSONALS: Want an inteligant guy - 22 (w4m)

Hello, I’m tierd of all the loosers out their who have got nothing to talk about. If you have nothing to say, than don’t not say it to me. If you are Mr. Potatoe Head, do not respond to this add ether.

Response from Stephen:
If you are looking for an intelligent man, best of luck. You better learn to spell first:

"Tiered" is spelt "tired"
"Loosers" is spelt "losers"
"Their" is wrong in the context...It should be "there"
"Potatoe" is spelt "potato"
"Add" is in fact spelt "ad" as in an abbreviation for advertisement.

Where did you go to school?

PERSONALS: I'm an old man - 60 (m4w)

Hey, I’m an old man, my name’s Jim, I have bad breath and greasy hair. I want to date the hottest girl in the bar. I don’t have any money to pay you, but I just figure I’m a human too, and you should at least give me that.

PERSONALS: Come sip water with me - 25 (w4m)

Looking for a stand up comedian to sip water with. If you're good at sipping water (which I know you are), then respond to this ad.

FOR SALE: Television

I’ve got a pretty new TV for sale and the only reason I’m selling it is cause I’m moving and I haven’t got anywhere to put it in my new place, plus I can’t afford any of the channels I want cause cable sucks. Just so you know too, the only thing that’s ever been watched on it is tons of porn, so it does carry that energy. Just thought the new owner might like to know. If you wanna come for a viewing, please respond to this ad.

Response from Lucie & Mike: looking for a tv to use for xbox hookup for teenagers.
do you still have th etv?
thanx

MISSED CONNECTIONS: Couch Potato On 12th

To the guy who is always lying on the couch of the lobby of my building reading the paper, What the hell are you reading? At first I thought you were kinda annoying, but then I realized it’s cause I felt I couldn’t check myself out in the lobby mirror before leaving the building cause you were always lying there. But then I noticed you never look up from your paper anyway. What else do you do?? Do you have a job? Do you work out? Cause you don’t look like a couch potato, you just act like one. I find you interesting. Do you read craigslist? Do you know who I am? I’m the girl who usually wears black or a suit and who sometimes puts lipstick on in the lobby mirror cause the lighting’s better in there. But I’m unconvinced you’ve ever noticed me or anybody who walks by your couch. Let me know if you have.

RANTS AND RAVES: Diaper Help!!!

Does anybody know how to change a diaper without touching it? My husband thought he found a way but then shit got all over the house. I don’t even mind doing it myself, I’m just asking for him because if I don’t he’s going to keep making retarded tools to try. Thanks!

MISSED CONNECTIONS: Ted, the reason I didn't come back to your place friday nite... - Asheville

was because I had a big zit on my butt. I knew it was coming, and I feared that this exact scenario would happen, and it did. I tried to get rid of the zit throughout the whole week, I even tried toothpaste and a blow dryer. But it didn’t clear up before Friday, and I didn’t want the embarrassment of you thinking of me as “Donna zitty-butt” for the rest of your life. I feel like I need to confess this to get if off my chest, cause I know you won’t read it anyway. It’s not that I don’t like you – I really do like you. That’s why I didn’t go home with you.

Donna

MISSED CONNECTIONS: Guy at Pemberton - Vancouver (w4m)

This might be a long shot. We met at the pemberton festival and I figured I’d never see you again but you were wearing gold framed sunglasses and had on a straw hat and were in a plaid shirt and cut-off shorts. You had dark hair. I don’t really know how to describe you to make you stand out from how everybody else looked. You were with your friends, who were dressed like you.

PERSONALS: If You Look Like that guy from HOUSE - 22 (w4m), Denver

I wanna fuck that guy from House. If you look like him, there’s a good chance I’d fuck you, too. If you wanna send me a pic I’ll let you know if I think you look like House. Nobody under 45 please.

Response from Sean Fuk:
hi 29 german italian. 6 ft tall and thin built, i cant send pix to CL to large.
give me an e mail. Ill send it. Ilove that show!!!
*NB: I just like his name!

Respones from Mr Hung: want a good facefucking?

MISSED CONNECTIONS: Guy who sprayed me with spit - LA (w4m)

To the guy who sprayed me with spit while we talked at the Sidetrack Café on Sunday night, I just wanted to say, thanks for that. It was really refreshing having your spittle spray my face like mist as you talked very close to me. It was like 30 degrees in there, and even though your spit was warm, it was refreshing in that crap hole. And you were hot so that spit felt really good. Wanna spit on me more?

PERSONALS: Looking for Witty Banter - 29, Vancouver (m4w)

m4w 29 – I’m looking for a woman who is witty, and can banter. And who is witty, and can banter, and who is witty, and can banter, and who is witty, and can banter. Witty. Banter. Witty. Banter. Witty, banter. Wittybanter. Wittybanter wittybanter wittybanter. Wittybanter. Wittybanter wittybanter wittybanter. Wittybanter. Wittybanter wittybanter wittybanter. Wittybanter. Wittybanter wittybanter wittybanter.WittybanterwittybanterwittybanterWittybanterwittybanterwittybanterwittybanterwittybanterwittybanterwittybanterwittybanterwittybanter

FOR SALE: David Allen CD - $15

I have a David Allen Audio book, his latest edition called “Getting Things Done.” I’d like to sell it because I never finished listening to it. If you buy it, I doubt you will ever finish listening to it either, but the first chapter probably won’t even help. Who am I kidding. I just want this off my conscience. I’ll give it to you for free.

MISSED CONNECTIONS: To the Guy Red Robins - Portland (w4m)

I think we may have had a connection. I was sitting in the middle of the dining area and you were in a booth. You were with a woman who I think may have been your date/girlfriend. But your eyes kept meeting mine and I could tell there was definitely an attraction. You left before I did, but not before pausing briefly in front of my table and I felt our mutual chemistry very strongly, and I think you did too. After you left I took the uneaten fries that were on your plate and I ate them. They tasted good. Then I took the money you left for the waiter and I spent it on Trendy-third avenue. I bought some nice things that make me think of you.

Response from AA: was it the one on 185th around 9? if so did you have your face painted?

MISSED CONNECTIONS: We had a one night stand - Edmonton

to the guy I met at Squires and then we went back to your apartment and had really awkward sex after, I just wanted to let you know that it was awkward because the whole time the thing in my direct line of vision was your bookshelf with your old high school grad photo on it where you were fat. That wasn’t the most appealing thing to look at during foreplay and then sex briefly after, and I’m sorry it didn’t go that well, ie wasn’t memorable or enjoyable. Maybe next time, if I ever see you again and we decide to hook up, we could do it with the “lights off.” Or not do it at all. Maybe we could just play video games or something. Cause you were a nice guy, just not very good in bed.

Response from AustinPower: Hi, how are you? saw your ad. very interesting. would you like to chit chat on line? boring saturday nite....;( lookin for friendship...

Response from Tron Carter: hi alison
u from craigslist
u like have fun?
care 2 chat sometime add my msn ****@hotmail.com i have pics and cam

Response from Hugh Jennings:
I appreciated your CL post. It pains me to read a woman say her needs were not met. If you're ever in the mood for a better experience, drop me a line to explore options. I'm intelligent, mature and classy; I can promise you a wonderful experience from fine dinner through massage through happy ending. Open to ongoing.

Response from Cynthia Zambrano: why would u post that, get a life bitch!